I hate these times when I get to know the truth myself. I'd rather that person be honest and tell me, so at least I can know how to deal with it. When I have to just dig out the truth myself, it's hard to confront the people involved. I really hate it. I'm in such position whereby there's nothing I can do but only suck it up. Why? Cause I'm supposed to be kept in the dark. 

To everyone out there: before you say or do something, please think of the consequences. You may do it out of impulse/anger (normally), but please still at least have a short time to think of the consequences. Sometimes you may think its nothing big, but you may also not know to others, it's certainly something big. What's more, don't hurt someone who is dear to you.

I wish I could solve everything that is my head now. I don't want to drag it anymore but I just couldn't do it. It takes time and yet I can't go on any longer.. My limit is snapping soon.. Real soon...

Times like this, I just need you to be there like you always do and not just kinda kick me away.

I think I'm having serious trust issues again. Even the closest can hurt you deeply, you won't even know. Just tell/teach me.... How do I handle all these problems I have :( I don't want to run away from them. I want to solve them.

Months of effort... Gone in just a minute. Definitely not a fair exchange, but there's nothing I can do. People out there may not trust me anymore. I have no idea how to make them trust me again. I'm not afraid if they dont trust me, as long as I know I did not do it. So it's up to you. You can think I'm so fake or whatever that floats your boat, but I can only say I am not what others say. I am and have always been me. If you can be so easily swayed just by words of others, then I guess you don't trust and don't know me well enough. If you know me well enough, you wouldn't have made this choice, we wouldn't have ended up this way. I can understand if it's just a time of confusion. I really hope we can talk things out. I really don't want us to end up this way.. 

If you are willing to come clean with me, I am willing to forgive. Really.

But will you ever be willing to come clean with me?

P/S: I told you every single thing but you still didn't. You chose to hide it from me. (don't know if hide is the right word but that's the only word I can think of)