Pissed? Sad?

I'm pissed and I'm sad.

If you could talk to her and she could understand you, why didn't you call her yourself in the first place?
Why must you always ask others to call while you just sit there?
Is it MY thing or YOUR thing?
Is it so difficult for you to make a call?
Is she someone you NEVER talk to?
I've already told you she doesn't understand what the shit I'm saying, can't you just ask her yourself straight?
Is there a need for you to keep asking me why doesn't she know, WHEN I'M NOT EVEN HER?!
Tell me which part of me, LOOK EXACTLY LIKE HER?
Unless you treat me as a Philippino and a maid. Then I accept everything you've done.
But neither am I a Philippino, nor a maid. So how can I accept it and not be angry?

--

I ..........
Regret for having a super bad attitude.
Regret for saying vulgarities like how I use I You Him Her They.
Regret for treating you cold.
IN THE PAST.

I tried changing my attitude.
I tried to cut down on saying vulgarities.
I tried to be someone good, and not bad.

I've asked my friends to hit me whenever I use any of the vulgarities.
Soon, I've stopped saying those.
Except F**K, but not like how I use I You Him Her They.

I've done all I can. After so long, I finally did it.
But...you didn't realise anything. Did you?

I think, my feelings slowly faded off too..
Can I say you appreciated everything?
You know it well..


It was a feeling I can't explain..